Just some food for thought.
How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
Why do you have to 'put your two cents in'.. But it's only a 'penny for your thoughts'? Where's that extra penny going to?
Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?
Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
What disease did cured ham actually have?
How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
Why is it that people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up like every two hours?
If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?
Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?
Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.
Why is 'bra' singular and 'panties' plural?
Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?
Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane ?
If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!
If Wile E.
Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?
If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
Why did you just try singing the two songs above?
Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?
Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
Peeps I read.
About Me
- Robb
- Well, I'm 22 and I just moved to San Francisco, CA. Its definitely interesting...nothing like my home city, (Louisville, KY). I love this place..heh. My interest pretty much explain my likes; so ummmm, yeah.
2 comments:
Why do you have to 'put your two cents in'.. But it's only a 'penny for your thoughts'? Where's that extra penny going to?
It's worth more to you than me.
Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?
Gawd Robb, Don't you know you get those big white robes with gold rope belts and wings? Death clothes are SOOOO last year.
Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
Just to fuck with your head
What disease did cured ham actually have?
Swine flu
How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
The "luggage wheel program" wasn't a race with Russia.
Why is it that people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up like every two hours?
Have you ever seen a baby sleep in a carseat? in a stroller? in a highchair?
If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?
yes.
What are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?
its like being in trouble, but on crack. same thing.
Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
To fight the urge to take the same money and throw it over the edge and kill the bystanders with high speed change.
Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.
try having a pap smear. total invasion of internal space.
Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
There must be some person out there who loves horribly charred things.
If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?
It's really a song about slavery and Jimmy is a slave who continues to work for the master, following him around brushing away the horseflies (or blue tail flies) from his horse. The horse is bitten, the master falls and dies. Crack-corn refers to cracking open a jug of corn mash whiskey. Apparently Jimmy was drunk and doing a bad job swatting flies, and the song eludes to his ineptitude as the cause of the master's death.
Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane ?
Sure! I've always wanted one of those little flags for my car.
If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
lack of nails.
Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!
Goofy wears pants. duh.
If Wile E.Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?
I think he had a vendetta.
If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?
petroleum
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
yes.
Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
yup. so do I'm a little teapot and the Jeopardy theme song. kinda.
Why did you just try singing the two songs above?
Cause I'm a mom.
Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?
wow. I have no answer for that one.
Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
dumb dog.
I fucking love you. Aye, it brought a tear to me eye.
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