American PINCHE Idol

Get excited everybody, I have the inside scoop on the American Idol auditions! Ok, so no, I don't have an inside scoop, but I do have what I saw when I went!!!

Let's see it all started this past Saturday ( July 19, 2008) at o' dark-thirty in the morning. The line was comprised of everyone and their mama. It was flippin ridiculous. And it was way past my bedtime, by the way.
(Aren't I beautiful?)

And we just waited and waited and waited for those cabrones to open the doors so that my cousin could register...thats right, we weren't there for her to audition, no no, just to register to audition at a later time. I swear hasn't this multi million dollar company ever hear of the internet? That would expedite this process so much faster! But alas, after a few hours and a few pots of coffee later, my cousin and I met our "idol buddy", Dez.
(She flippin rocks, by the way, we even went clubbin that night, it was fantastic!)




(My cousin, who sings like no other.)

So with coffee, cigarettes, and the movie Ratatouille, and the countless hours of "Hey, look at that guy!" time passed relatively fast...(If you don't know what hey look at that guy is, its basically some people looking at a particular person and they make up their entire life...)

So I started this game with my cousin and a complete group of strangers by saying "Hey, look at that guy, his name is Greg...he's 38 and single and works at the post office" and from behind me I heard a complete stranger say "...but he watches more porn than anyone..." I was sooooo amazed that someone from a far and distant land knew of the game and soo appropriately chimed in...we were like BFFS, sadly they didn't want their picture taken or their name posted on the internet, (they weren't auditioning). So being the good natured person that I am, I shall comply. But they were from North Dakota ( I didn't know people actually lived there...) and they were uber cool!!!

So by mid morning we were registered and ready to come back Monday!

Monday came, and it was very similiar to Saturday. The city of Louisvillie came to audition with the hopes of being the one! (Hehe "There Can Be Only One...") We did a bunch of recordings and stuff for the show and basically utilized the same strength enhancers of the other day (coffee, cigarettes, and movies).

FINALLY its audition time!! They were herded like cattle to line up in rows of four in front of one of 12 tables. They sang and if they passed, they got a golden ticket for round two. If they didn't, the walk of shame they took.

"

Despite, neither my idol buddy nor my cousin are going to be the next American Idol, they learned a lot from this experience: apparently you must be big busted and talented at the same time. Talent alone is not going to win the competition. :-0

Ray-gard-less, they are idols in my book, and both are very talented individuals.

(Side note: Dez sang "Bobby McGee", by Janis Joplin. Amanda sang "When You Say Nothing At All", by Alison Krauss)